(part.1)I am Omega, I am a god
I tread about the plains of existence,
within and throughout space.
I define the cognition's of the universe.
I have a strength so great
I can jam the gears of time with the tip of my finger.
I record the rhythmic ululations of the galaxies.
I beckon the stars to blast out radioactive hip-hop beats.
I strum the gravitic strings on the rings of the planets that sport them.
I twist black holes like turn-tables and scratch to the flow
of my immaculate work.
I ring up comets like bells, beat down meteors like drums
I fill the universe with the song of my immortal heart
only to find that it is an empty composition.
(to be continued...)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Hi there!
I really like this poem. The title caught my attention right away, and I like the non-rhyming style you've written the poem itself in. It's powerful, not forced (like a lot of rhyming poetry).
The subject matter is a really unique idea. I love it. The last line is good, too... makes me want to read more.
Overall, I really don't have any criticisms of this piece. Good job and keep it up!
Hi there Monument! It's June
. Not that that's something major...
. There are some places in your poem where it's absolutely necessary; just be sure to keep an eye on that in the future.
Yay! Another great poem by you that's left me speechless.
Your play on words is absolutely amazing, Monument. There isn't anything I would change here; the only correction I have is you have a double space between "the" and "stars"
Also! Watch your punctuation
Here's an example:
It is a rather simple to use punctuation; wherever you wish your audience to pause, use a comma. Whenever you want us to stop, and continue, use a semi colon. Full stop? Use a period.
I am pretty much speechless! I really enjoyed this, it read and flowed almost effortlessly. It was a great read, dear. Keep it up!
(Also! I'm a giant fan of your style
June